Helga’s thirst was so fucking real.
I love how helga’s fantasy wasn’t just “get arnold” it was “Be wildly succesful and have immense amounts of power and oh also be married to arnold”
unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person
I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER
No, I’m…Ahhh…AHHHH…!!!! *Clutches my throbbing head and topples to my knees, writhing in pain* Why can’t I remember……my past…..?!??!! AAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t tell if that blog is parody or serious.
I can’t tell if you’re alive or dead…………………. *Rips your entire epidermis off of you and strangles you with it* Oh………guess your’e dead
Not one for Domination? That’s fine- we all need to unwind, sometimes. Luckily I am just as charming and soothing as I am dominant and beautiful. Call me for ASMR, Conversation, or just to ogle my living-doll beauty.
Of course cause this is an important skill all women should know about, you make yourself tighter by telling your boyfriend to get a bigger dick.
Also, your vagina is perfect and fine and seriously don’t worry about it, if a dude is worried about a ‘loose’ vagina it’s because he has a dusty pencil dick and you don’t want that dick anyways. Your vagina is perfect, sex is about trust, respect, and meeting each others mutual needs, he has to satisfy you too and you should expect him too, you’ll do fine, and again, your vagina is perfect ~
maybe having a psychic pet isn’t the best idea…
listen, i don’t know about you, but the only people I know who actually enjoy the smell of axe body spray are not women. it’s dudes. it’s all dudes. i have worn axe body spray and walked into a room and have been complimented by legions of dudes. axe body spray is an agent of the gay agenda to make men smell better for other men to unlock their latent homosexuality and there is no stopping them now, we’re in too deep and it’s far too late.
what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired